【英语作文】每日一文——读书的重要性
发布于 6年前 作者 来自外太空的鱼 1413 次浏览 来自 高考

作文题目: 书是人类知识的宝库,书对我们的重要性人人皆知。请结合自己的学习和成长谈谈你对书的重要性的看法。内容包括:

  1. 分析书的重要性
  2. 你对书的个人态度

作文: The Importance of Books People without books are like fish without water[1]. So[2] there’s no denying that book is of significance in our life, being a part of us. We all need books to shape our characters widen our horizon and make us more knowledgeable and skilled[3]. Furthermore, we can acquire happiness and relax[4] when we read some interesting books. From another perspective, we are in an age full of fierce competition so that knowledge comes first to sharpen our competitive edge. So[5] we have to equip our brains with all kinds of books to stand out from others and also make more contributions to the society. So[6] I hope, sincerely, that we can get along well with books, treating them as our good friends, loving them, valuing them.

修改意见: [1] 全文的第一句话虽然从语法上没有什么错误,但显得不地道,有较为严重的“汉式思维”之嫌。建议改为“Books are to people what water is to fish”。另外,比喻时应注意喻体的选择。此处鱼没水就不能活,人没了书最多也就是精神空虚。 [2] 此句只有So引导的结果状语从句,而不见主句。建议在So前加上逗号,使之成为副词用法。下面第[5],[6]处都出现了同样的问题。 [3] 此处很明显是三个动词短语的并列,但中间少了逗号,容易导致误解或信息传递不畅。同时,horizon表示“知识范围、眼界”的时候一般都用复数形式。建议改为:shape our characters, widen our horizons and make us more knowledgeable and skilled. [4] 这里是对relax词性的误用,得到快乐和放松应该用放松的名词形式relaxation. [5] 这里还是so使用的问题,为了避免重复,建议在用词和句式上都做出修改。另外,equip our brains with books搭配上也不合适。建议改为:Thus, we have to equip our brains with all kinds of knowledge from books, making us stand out from others and make more contributions to the society. [6] 此处还是so的使用问题,可以在so后面加上逗号。但是作为全文的结语,建议使用更有书面总结味道的副词或短语,如:From the above-mentioned arguments或者直接去掉效果都更好。


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